Treasure Sandwiches- Family Financial Goals
It’s important to teach your kids about the family money, budgeting and saving. They need to know that you and the family in general has a finite amount of money to spend. In the words of a common idiom: “Money doesn’t grow on trees”. Setting family financial goals helps to teach kids some essentials in how to use, spend and save money.
There are several ways to do this and the kids don’t even know they are being taught a lesson about money!
Teaching about family money
1. Menus and Lists
Early on, being married, we found that preparing a menu and grocery list saved us money and time. Not only did we NOT have to go through the whole, “What do you want to eat?”/ “I don’t know” scenario (at least as frequently), but we had a plan, were a little more organized and saved money!
*My daughter, who is now an adult, said menus and lists have been incredibly helpful for her. She grew up with it and hasn’t had to learn it as an adult.
Remember to include meals besides dinner and snacks that your family likes and will eat.
My daughter, quickly learned about the grocery list. She would melt my heart when she would look at me with those big brown eyes and sweetly ask “Is this on the list?” Sometimes, I would give in and say yes, it is on the list! Since she couldn’t read yet, she didn’t know that I couldn’t say no to that sweet ask! She needed that win once in awhile and other times I would tell her not today.
I was teaching more than one lesson here. 1. money, 2. self-control, 3. flexibility, and 4. delayed gratification. She took the list seriously, because I took it seriously. She would sometimes scribble out her own list and I would ask her about her list and see if we could include things from her list on our main list.
- Make a menu- make sure you add in some lazy or easy dinners or even plan a night to eat out. Be willing to move the menu around as needed.
- Make a grocery list.
- Stick to your list.
- Check out money saving apps like ibotta
- Look up online coupons or do couponing the old fashioned way.
- Look for sales and stock up on things your family uses often.
We need:
So, my daughter understood the list at almost 3 years old. (She talked early and talked well.) She was carrying the fly swatter around and couldn’t find a fly to hit. At that point, she turned to me and said, “We need more flies. Put it on the list.” I asked why and she said because she wanted to hit them!
Another thing she thought should be on the list; trains, great big freight trains. Often when we would run errands we would see a train. She loved to see the train and her excitement took away some of the annoyance of waiting for the train to pass. If we didn’t see a train she was a little sad and wanted them on the list to get more.
Cheap Dinners
Plan some less expensive dinners. I cook a lot, since I am gluten free and make most of our stuff from scratch. Things that were cheap when we were eating gluten like: bread, pasta, and pizza aren’t as economical as they once were! Less expensive dinners for us include: breakfast for dinner with homemade pancakes, bacon or sausage and hashbrowns; Rice bowls with some stir fried veggies and a little meat or tofu; Chili with hot dogs; Mexican Ramen; and having a baked potato bar with things like chili, cheese, ham, broccoli, etc.
This post contains affiliate links. I include these links for your convenience. I earn a small commission for the referral, but your price remains the same.
Setting financial goals as a family.
Set a financial goal as a family for things you want to do or buy. It can be anything like a piano, new car, a home down payment, vacation, school clothes etc. Brainstorm as a family, the ways you can save, cut back or earn extra money. This teaches kids not only about money, but working together for a common goal. It helps them to look outside of themselves.
- Kids might want to pick up a summer job and help out with their own expenses to relieve some of the financial burden from the family, especially older kids.
- Decide to eat out less often
- Eat out at cheaper places
- Make more meals at home
- Buy fewer name brands for clothes and shoes
- Change phone and/or cable provider
- Cut back on coffee, soda or whatever you do that is a regular extra
- What are you paying for that you could do yourself?
How to set financial goals as a family
First, everyone in the family needs to understand the family finances to some degree. You don’t have to tell them how much you make, if you don’t want to. Explain it in percentages if that helps you to feel more comfortable. If children are very young, using some visual aids may be helpful.
The amount of money you make is 100%. What percentage goes to taxes and what does that leave you? What percentage are the bills that must be paid? What percentage is for consumables and has leeway? What percentage can you save?
What has to be paid
Teach them about responsibility and how you pay certain things every month: mortgage/rent, water, electricity, etc. If you have a car payment or other loans or credit cards, those need to be talked about, too. What is your debt philosophy?
What is flexible
We can decide how much to pay or put toward other things like: yard care, lessons, clothing, food, treats, etc. Cutting back or doing things differently may require a sacrifice.
Are the family financial goals worth it for everyone and how can it have meaning for everyone to participate?
This is why the family goal is made together. Everyone in the family should have a voice and an opinion. Brain storming helps everyone feel included and to see what one another is willing to do.
While brain storming, other issues, worries and concerns may arise. Address those concerns and worries. Come to agreements that all are willing to participate in.
In the Loop
Keep everyone in the loop. We made a family goal to get out of debt. We told our kids how much we have to spend on consumables. (We went over the budget and what has to be paid, but the important part is what we can spend. (That’s everything extra, including food and clothing needs.)
We keep a running tally in our kitchen, so everyone can see if we are on track. Recently, one of our daughter’s asked how we were coming on reaching our goal to get rid of this debt. They needed to see that the debt side was coming down. We had been focused on reducing spending, but hadn’t given feedback to how it was working. Everyone wants to know that their sacrifice is paying off.
Treasure Sandwiches
When our 3 oldest girls were 2, 5 and 8 we really wanted to take them to Disneyland for the first time. We set a goal and came up with a plan. One of the things we decided to do is to have a cheap dinner once a week. We would eat “treasure sandwiches”. (Of course, we did other things, too. This is just the most memorable and what we specifically did as a family.)
The name “Treasure Sandwiches” was mostly for me. Cheese sandwiches for dinner didn’t seem very appetizing. We explained to our girls that the cheese is like gold and the reward would be the trip. It gave us all a goal and a purpose. We were working together for something we all wanted.
Those dinners became fun. Treasure Sandwiches stuck. It is now a treat to have a Treasure Sandwich. The memories are now the gold!
I was ready to become a new mom, at least to an extent. I don’t think you can be fully prepared for exactly what it means and feels like to be a first time mom. To hold your newborn baby in your arms and feel the responsibility of being their entire world. You really do, suddenly have the world on your shoulders. It’s the world of the precious child who now depends on you for everything. You, too, are their whole world!
When I had my second child, I was no longer the mom of an only child. It was terrifying in a different way, than it was having my first. I worried and cried about whether or not I could love my second child as much as my first.
My oldest had tried dance when she was 3 and hated it! She would ask everyday if today was dance day and when I would say no she would say, “Yeah!” and jump up and down. When I heard the other moms say their daughters asked every day if today was dance and when they said no, their daughters would get sad and sometimes cry. That’s when I knew that dance wasn’t her thing!
As a gym mom, I often watched practices, went to gymnastics meets, volunteered with fundraisers and other gym events and helped with being the gym photographer. I loved our gym life mostly because it was great to watch my girls excel in something they really enjoyed and did well in.
We repeated this role 4 times! I would say the last time was the easiest as far as having multiple children in the house goes. What a difference it made having a 10 year old and a 7 year old who were excited about the new baby and eager to help! (The 4 year old wasn’t very helpful and struggled the most in adjusting to a new baby sister.)
Various sports were tried and during those times I was soccer mom, softball mom, archery, etc. Driving to practices, finding the field, I even 
I love that all of my girls have gotten to do some theater. I directed a play they were in, coached acting, helped memorize lines, run lines, driven to practice, gone to performances, and recorded through pictures and video their experiences.
At one point, I had 3 teen daughters in the house! It really wasn’t too bad. There is so much hussle and bussle with teens and shuttling them to and fro! When I was a younger mom I didn’t believe mom’s who said they were busier with teens, until I had teens!
It won’t be long before grandma gets added in as a new role and what a blessed day and time that will be!
What oldest child hasn’t been called bossy? No matter what you do they tend to want to be a little bossy, but with good reason. They are older and they have learned so much about what to do and what not to do. However, there are probably things you are doing to contribute to their bossiness.
The oldest child often becomes the helper/assistant. You ask them to get and do things for you, frequently. Parents often become dependent on the oldest child getting up and doing what they themselves don’t want to get up and do. Things they would get up and do with the first child, they delegate to the oldest. Some of this is appropriate. Older kids should learn to help out. I am talking about expecting them to be at your beckon call whenever you want them regardless of what they are doing and what is going on. You want them to stop whatever they are doing and help you, so you can continue your conversation or whatever it is you are doing. What makes you think your child is any different? Demanding that your child come running every time you call; is that how you like to be treated?
Let’s start with back talking. Is your child really back talking? Or are they trying to tell you they are overburdened, over whelmed, or frustrated? Remember, this is a child. They don’t have all the years of experience in handling situations. Teach them how to better express themselves and say what they really want and how they feel. They might be having a hard time finding the right words. Tell them you want to listen to them, that they seem upset but being disrespectful is not how you work things out. This just creates more anger, but keep your cool mom and dad. How are they supposed to learn how to communicate better if you just get mad at them and don’t listen?! They may be trying to be heard before they get cut off.
They might be. Evaluate that. Do they need to be graduated to a new job so the younger one/s can learn to help out too? Do jobs need to be rotated? Are rewards and consequences given out fairly? My oldest daughter once made a comment that made me realize we weren’t giving any chores to the youngest and she was old enough to be doing chores, too. The youngest wasn’t too happy about this being pointed out, but it needed to happen.
My mom always said she hated 5 year olds! She said they always think they know everything! They aren’t trying to prove to you that they are smarter than you. They don’t necessarily know that you know, what they just discovered. They just learned it and are helpfully passing on their new found knowledge and wisdom.
I wished this all the time! My mom often told me that I could have had ________________ if I were an only child or if I were the only girl in the family. Hmmm, is it any wonder that there was sibling rivalry in our home?
Many times it is true, because parents have a tendency to mellow as they get older. You don’t worry as much or about the same things as you have more children. All the worry is focused on that first child and new parents take everything so seriously. We find that some of the things we worried about weren’t as big a deal as we once thought. Sometimes we find better ways of doing things (parenting), the needs are different with other children/personalities, we aren’t as stressed, or even that we are tired (and end up doing less than we should). A child that rarely acts out may not be punished as severely as one that frequently acts out.
My parents always told me how important my example was to my siblings. Not a bad thing, right. Lots of parents tell their kids this. It is true, to a point. My oldest complained about math and hated it. She was very vocal about her hatred of math. Consequently, all my other girls have struggled with math and claimed they hated it! Even my #3 who is brilliant with math.
I first noticed this when I was a young mother trying to navigate doors, strollers, diaper bag and toddlers. The first time I noticed it, I was trying to take my double stroller through the handicap (the only electric) door at the mall.
Are we all just lazy at heart?
Because of my experiences with celiac and gluten free I realized that drugs/medication isn’t the only way to handle illness and other health issues. Don’t get me wrong I love western medicine; I just wish alternative and western ideas would work better together! I think we would all be healthier if there was a mesh between the two to figure out what works best for individuals. This has led to the door of reading different books. It has led to being open to how we are affected by energy and thoughts. It has led to 
When I walked through the “mom” door I knew the kind of mom I wanted to be. My door was about being fully responsible for my child and staying home with her. My door was about putting aside what I wanted and focusing on my child. I wanted my children to have my values and ideals. I felt that sending them away to be watched by someone else would bring a different influence and experience that I didn’t want my child to have. In talking about costs, I would solely be working just to pay for someone to take care of my child. Being a mom is the only job I ever really wanted to have. I have walked through doors of saying goodbye to people who weren’t positive in my life so I could be positive in my families lives and the mom I want to be.
Mine are about the same size but the center one could be shorter, if that’s what you can find. You would just give it a taller foundation because you want the inside vase to be a little taller than the candy in the outer vase.
to try and help the situation improve. Her love language is gifts and time. I didn’t want to have to buy her love and bribe her to be good, all the time, and there was never enough time! I know there is more to this love language, but this is how it felt to me at the time.
Not Easy, But Worth It!
Recent Comments